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The greatest bad movie franchise
The greatest bad movie franchise of this century gets re-ignited with Fast & Furious, the fourth in the series. The original gang is back together, and the stakes could not be higher. Greg and Joe find themselves at a crossroads with this franchise: Will Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Jordana Brewster find the right lane, or will they be left in the dust? We have the conversation that needed to happen. Also: Drinking Games, Important Questions, Joe’s Back of the Box, and more.
Joe’s Back of the Box
When his beloved Letty is killed, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) comes back to L.A. to find her killer. The road leads back to Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker,) now with the FBI. Hot on the trails of the cartel boss who’s responsible, can they work together or will old wounds be too much to bear? Fast and Furious supercharges the action and takes this franchise to speeds we have never seen before.
The REAL Back of the Box
This movie is perfect. The car chases are better, the action smoother, and the story is an incomprehensible joy. How is Paul Walker with the FBI? Shut up, I ask the question around here. How is it so easy to get into Mexico? Who cares? Why is the leader of one of the most powerful cartels praying at a church with only the front door guarded? This is why you don’t ask stupid questions… Just turn off your logic and enjoy this movie.
Note: This transcript has been auto-generated, so… You know… It’s not our fault.
Greg: Joe, the movie we watched this week. Fast and furious begins with an epic gas truck heist in the Dominican Republic, which is where Dom Toretto has been in the last couple of years. And we discovered that there’s a prelude short film written and directed by Vin Diesel. It’s 20 minutes long. It’s called Los Bandoliers. It sets the scene for where Dom has been, and kind of gives a backstory to that gas truck heist.
Greg: My question to you, now that we have both just watched the short film, is what makes Hlose Van Valero’s a great bad short film?
Joe: Wow. I need I’m leaning moments to process this.
Greg: Yeah. No.
Joe: Knowing it as the prequel, of the Fast and Furious, is very confusing. I feel like it’s a completely different movie than I had to watch. Right? There’s something, like, weirdly endearing about it. It feels like this was Vin Diesel trying really hard to make, like, art tied into facts and furious. And so I appreciate that. It’s weird.
Joe: It’s a really odd little film. Like, I don’t really know that it has a story. It’s just like, yeah, if they had put this in the movie, this would have been a five minute.
Greg: If that’s so much.
Joe: Montage.
Greg: Right?
Joe: Yeah, it’s it’s a minute montage of diagraming what they’re going to do. Because that opening scene and, and and fast four is so good.
Greg: How much better is it now that you have the backstory?
Joe: It’s so good.
Greg: There is some politics going on. Dom’s been hanging out like laying low there. He’s going to do a little bit of Robin Hood thing to get some feel his life. I think he said at one point in the short film, making them robbing a tanker at the beginning of Fast and Furious even more meaningful.
Joe: I mean, it ties it all together.
Greg: Perfect is what you’re saying. And it is.
Joe: Perfect.
Greg: Yeah. Okay, let’s get to the show.
Joe: All right, let’s do it.
Greg: You hear that? Taken in. O’Connor. Oh, no. She’s my friend to the.
Greg: One. I’m going with you. I ain’t coming back. I guess go. This is where my jurisdiction ends. And this is where mine begins. Now, a lot has changed right in.
Clip: 2009 fast and.
Greg: Furious. Fast and furious, part four. We’re losing some articles. It’s not the fast and the furious. It’s fast and Furious. Directed by Justin Lin. This movie brings the gang all back together. New model original parts, I think was the tagline of this film. We’ve got Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez or Danny Brewster. That might be it from the original crew.
Greg: Yeah, but a couple other people from previous movies. We’ve got John Ortiz as Campos, Gal Gadot in her first film, sung Kang dropping in from Tokyo Drift, Joe Sky Tucker. I’m so like, I, I want to like, throw things against the wall right now. Joe Sky Tucker. Why is Fast and Furious a great bad movie?
Joe: This is the one of the penultimate great bad movies to me. This movie is pure fun. There’s nothing serious about it at all to take. It’s just sit back. Turn off large. Right. Turn off your brain a little bit and just enjoy where this franchise can go. I feel like this brings it back. This is a total, like, left turn, to a much better place.
Greg: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Joe: The first movie is trying to be a little bit more gritty. It’s trying to be the point break that it’s modeled after. This just says screw that was it.
Greg: TV, VCR combos that they were getting from the back of a truck in the first The Fast and the furious, I think. So those were the stakes, maybe.
Joe: Yeah, those are the stakes. And this is a little bit more crazy, a little bit more fun.
Greg: Yeah, let’s.
Joe: Have a plot, but don’t think too hard about it. There are lots of little plot holes and just go with it. It just says, just relax. We got you and we’re going to have fun. So I just I love this movie. I’ve watched it 4 or 5 times now probably, and every time I watch it, it’s better. I miss the little things and I’m like.
Greg: Oh, same.
Joe: Oh, I can’t wait for this scene.
Greg: You said they don’t take it seriously, but every scene of this movie, they are taking it dead seriously.
Joe: Oh yeah, the actors are 100% in on this, and I feel like they figured out the characters. You know, if you ever watch, like a TV show in the first, maybe season, season and a half and they’re they’re finding their way and then they find the characters. Yeah. Like they have found the characters of Kevin O’Connor and Vin Diesel, especially of like a man’s got to have a code Vin Diesel, Dom Toretto.
Joe: It’s about family. And and then, you know, Kevin O’Connor is learning that lesson with him.
Greg: Brian O’Connor, by the way.
Joe: Brian O’Connor. Yeah.
Greg: How dare you.
Joe: Yeah. Sorry.
Greg: No, you know what? I’m going to give it. Who would know? I know him as Paul Walker. I have no idea what his name is in this movie.
Joe: Same question to you, Greg Swineherd. Why is this a great bad movie in your mind?
Greg: This movie is great because the action scenes are legitimately exciting. They’re fun twists and turns. We could, we could, we could make you know, these chase scenes. There’s the foot chase. There’s a couple. There’s a car chase. Obviously there’s a there’s there’s like four main action sequences in this movie. All of them. I noticed that I’m like, I’m crossing my arms and a little bit tense while I’m watching them and totally entertained throughout.
Greg: And I feel like Justin Lin immediately became one of my favorite directors after watching what was the greatest, dumbest movie I’d ever watched in my life, I started screaming about this movie from the mountaintops in 2010. When I saw it, I feel like I saw this movie, and then weeks later, I saw a trailer for the next movie and was like, oh my gosh, okay, we’re doing this.
Greg: It’s happening. They figured out the limitations of these actors. They didn’t feed them more than they could actually chew on, and I feel like they edit around some of their limitations almost perfectly in this movie. And and when they don’t edit around those limitations, I almost love it for it’s so great. The dialog is preposterous, the action scenes are kinetic and well made.
Greg: You kind of know where people are the whole time, which is like the hallmark of action movie directing. And I fell for the story storyline. So let’s let’s catch everyone up. For people who haven’t seen Fast and Furious, can you give us like a synopsis? Can you give us like a back in the box description?
Joe: I sure can, I’ll give you the back of the box and then I’ll give you my real description of this film. But okay, we’ll start with the back of the box, like you’re looking through Blockbuster Video going, what do I watch on a Friday night? We got you. It’s the back of the box. When his beloved lady is killed, Dom Toretto, Vin diesel comes back to LA to find her killer.
Joe: The road leads back to Brian O’Conner. Paul Walker now with the FBI hot on the trails of the cartel boss who is responsible? Can they work together, or will old wounds be too much to bear? Fast and furious supercharges the action and takes this franchise to speeds we have never seen before.
Greg: Kind of spoiler ific with Letty gang, right?
Joe: I threw that in there. If you haven’t seen it, I’m sorry she dies. Don’t watch any of the trailers for seven 8 or 9 six.
Greg: Makes no difference to the experience of the movie. No. Yeah. Okay, so you’re right. You’re in the back of the boxes, right? Yeah. Okay. But what’s the what’s what’s the real what’s the honest back of the box.
Joe: Honest back of the box. This movie is perfect. The car chases are better, the action smoother, and the story and incomprehensible joy. How is Paul Walker back with the FBI? Shut up. I ask the questions around here. How is it so easy to get into Mexico? Who cares? Why is the leader of one of the most powerful cartels praying at a church with only the front door guarded?
Joe: This is why you don’t ask stupid questions. Just turn off your logic and enjoy this movie.
Greg: And any time they ask you to turn off your logic, it’s like, oh great, we’re doing this. It’s almost a good sign for me.
Joe: I feel like this, this is the movie that I give you, and we are obviously big fans of this series. This is the one that tells it. You just you turn it off there momentarily, just like, why are you trying to figure out, like, the logic of it? Just enjoy the spectacle. They really go for that. And I feel like, yeah, the opening scene in this is so amazing.
Joe: Yeah, it sets the scene for what the action is going to be like. It’s so much fun to watch.
Greg: I mean, this movie should have gone direct to video, except it’s perfect in every way. Yeah. For two fast two furious Vin Diesel was offered $25 million. Crazy. And the reason he turned it down was the script didn’t go. The Francis Ford Coppola route, where you take the world that you’ve built and you continue with it. It just kind of told another story and then put different characters from the first movie in it, and it had the right brand.
Greg: And so he didn’t do it, which he is.
Joe: Right.
Greg: Would you turn down $25 million?
Joe: I mean, I wouldn’t because I can be bought and sold for way less than that. But but he is 100% right in his critique of the second film.
Greg: That’s true, it’s true.
Joe: It’s a totally different like that has no connection to The Fast and the furious, the first one or the characters or anything like that. So he is right in that once again, we should not question Vin Diesel. He he knows this franchise. I mean, I know he said that these last two movies are the last, but there’s no way that he doesn’t have another trilogy of trilogies in him for Fast and Furious.
Joe: And basically when they’re in, he’s going to do the crossover with Riddick. And so it’ll be the Chronicles of.
Greg: Riddick.
Joe: Knights.
Greg: The Chronicles of Riddick. So, interesting that he his complaint is the Fast and Furious movies aren’t Francis Ford Coppola enough. And then when he writes and directs lust, bandolier was the prelude to fast four. He has characters refer to him as The Godfather. It’s amazing.
Joe: I mean, I don’t think subtlety is, is Vin Diesel’s go to descriptor.
Greg: So but it’s really hard to square. Subtlety isn’t his thing. And he won’t take $25 million for starring in a sequel to a successful movie. What did he think The Fast and the furious was? I still think he’s wrong about what it is, except I’m more on board with it now than I was before, right? So maybe there’s some middle ground there, but I need to find with Vin.
Joe: Diesel somehow he is acting in a completely different movie in his head. And this is, Vin Diesel has two moves in this, spoiler alert for the drinking games. He’s got these serious look and the kind of Vin Diesel smirk. And that’s really his range as an actor.
Greg: He’s a double threat. Yeah. This movie opens up with a truck that’s barreling down this road. This truck has 17 oil tanks on it. It has so many trailers. It would be so illegal in America. Yeah. And then right behind it, three cars. And in those three cars are Dom Toretto and Letty. Behind them, we’ve got John and the girl that he met in Los Bandoliers.
Greg: Because continuity is king. Yeah, she’s eating the pork rinds, so we’re good to go. Yeah. And in the car behind them. Santo, I don’t know if it’s Santo or Santos. I think it’s Santos and Leo who they broke out of jail and less bandoliers. And they’re like arguing and being hilarious.
Joe: And let’s put heart air quotes around break out of jail. They cut a chain link fence and he just magically walks out.
Greg: So I don’t run. I walk.
Joe: So good.
Greg: So Letty jumps onto the hood of the car.
Joe: Then she climbs up. She sprays with like, liquid nitrogen or something. One of the cars, like does a spins around backwards and then links up to the trucker. Then she breaks it off and then they drive away with, right, the gas, two of the, the gas tanks, and then the truck driver spots them and starts swerving around and so and shooting.
Joe: And he’s really a dedicated driver. He shoots at that. He really takes the job seriously, which I appreciate. I mean.
Greg: For a minute, but then he just grabs his lizard and jumps out of his moving truck before it’s about to go off a cliff.
Joe: A classic action movie. He’s probably traveling at 100 miles an hour. He jumps out of a moving truck, right? Rolls a couple times, but he’s fine, 100% fine.
Greg: We’re good.
Joe: And then this is also the start of being able to use their car, is to do things that cars shouldn’t be able to do. So like she loses her hammer that she uses to hit the block, but he uses his car and he like slams on the brake. He’s also, I think, driving backwards at this point, right? This is where you just turn the logic off and like he slams into it, it breaks it off, and then he’s able to use his car in ways that nobody else can.
Greg: He does like a donut beside the truck and hits the trailer hitch of the gas tank and breaks it free because she’s lost her hammer.
Joe: Perfectly hits.
Greg: That’s such a good sign. It’s like, you know, in scriptwriting class they say you should save the cat early on in the movie so you can know that this is the hero. And we should just have Dom try to do something impossible at the beginning of every movie to show. First of all, what kind of movie you’re watching.
Greg: Like, I personally could use a signal. Just let me know early on if it’s going to be one of those kinds of movies, because then I’m just going to enjoy myself even more. But the guy’s jumped out of his truck and that his truck is somehow, like, turned sideways and is now rolling down a hill on fire towards Dom and Letty, who are stuck.
Greg: So Dom has to floor it and somehow drive underneath the tanker as it rolls down the hill. And it’s kind of bouncing a little bit in a perfect 2009 CG a close call. Yeah, just if you looked up CGI, close call in the dictionary, it would just show a picture of this.
Joe: You could have ended the movie there. Yeah. And I would have been happy.
Greg: It’s like the opening a cliffhanger. Yeah. And you know what? I enjoy it even more now that I’ve watched the short film. Not only should every Fast and Furious movie have, a prelude written and directed by Vin Diesel, I think every movie made from now on should have a 20 minute prelude written, directed and starring Vin Diesel.
Greg: It’s not a movie until that’s made.
Joe: 100% in on.
Greg: This. The sequel of those, Banderas should probably be called Doe. There I was right.
Joe: Yeah, that’s obviously that’s.
Greg: Just an obvious sequel title, I.
Joe: Think. Then we then we cut to LA, right? And this is where we have, again, one of my favorite action sequences.
Greg: In it for Chase.
Joe: Where Brian O’Conner or, Paul Walker at the foot Chase talked about kind of being low to the ground. Yeah, they’re like, they are going through actual windows. It’s not CGI.
Greg: Everything right?
Joe: Yeah, it’s a great scene through LA. And then they get the gun and a shooting at them. And the.
Greg: Bad guy. Yeah. He bumps into a cop. The cop’s gun falls on the ground when he bumps into him. He picks it up. He fires three times into a crowded market. Zero casualties.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Thank God the stakes are low. And when a gun shows up.
Joe: Yeah. The opening to this movie is great. Getting the band back together. Yeah. And we’re off and running into the into the fast and furious averse.
Greg: So basically all of the key people in this movie, minus Mia Toretto, gets an action scene to introduce them. And I feel like this is this should be the blueprint for every movie I watch for the rest of my life. Every character should be introduced in the form of some kind of character building action sequence. And if you don’t pass that fast four bar page one rewrite 100%.
Greg: So Dom gets a phone call from Mia. He says, Mia, you know you’re not supposed to call me here in the Dominican Republic. And she says it’s Letty. She’s died. And so Dom somehow gets back to America. The international travel that happens in this movie, it’s so nonchalant. I feel like this movie would be five times longer if we actually saw them go through the borders.
Joe: Yeah, he’s a wanted fugitive, but just shows up in LA, right?
Greg: This is just a moment that I like to call up up up up up up up up up.
Joe: Just don’t.
Greg: Know. Don’t even know we’re in LA now what? Why would we think about how he got there? Up up up up up up.
Joe: The only problem with that is when they make such a big show of and kind of the middle of the movie when they’re moving drugs for Prada, right. Of how tightly secured the border is with infrared cameras and helicopters and so.
Greg: Well, wait, do they say we saw that Toretto came through the border ten minutes ago from one of the cameras?
Joe: Yeah, there’s, like a facial recognition. Yeah, like a little bit of a zoom in there. And then hand moments still.
Greg: Got through, obviously.
Joe: I mean, it’s not that big a feature.
Greg: That there’s an implied pushing it and enhancement that happened at that point. You’re right.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Yeah. So Paul Walker is at the funeral of Letty. No, Dom. They really expected him to come home. Paul Walker looks back in a hillside right at where Dom was.
Joe: And it’s like, yeah, he knows.
Greg: Yeah. You know, so you can feel him. It’s like the force. Later that day, Mia, shows up, walks into the garage at their house in LA, which was from the first man, and out of the shadows walks Dom and brother and sister back together. The least looking related siblings in Hollywood history, Mia and Dom Toretto. And then they talk for just a second, and then he looks over and gets all emotional and realizes that his car is right there.
Greg: Now, if he was waiting in the garage for her to walk in, did he not notice that his car was five feet over there?
Joe: Perfect, I missed that. Yeah, this is perfect.
Greg: No character knows anything until the camera looks at it.
Joe: So if you’ve seen the ninth one, you know that his brother is John Cena. So if you have all three of them together, yeah, the movies are less related. They also make a point of saying that they’re they’re the only siblings. Okay. So obviously there’s some continuity issues in The Fast and the furious subverts.
Greg: Yes. How do I Say Goodbye to my only brother is the line, and he says, you don’t, which is just one of many set up. Someone hands Toretto the ball and he hits it over the fence, and it’s a grand slam. There’s so many lines like that, like poker. This is where my jurisdiction ends. And he just says, and this is where mine begins.
Joe: It’s so perfect. It’s just like action movie grab bag, right, Dom Toretto lines are just all punch lines. Yeah. Of tropes. I’m hard, but I’m harder. I’m this, you know, it’s just like he just says fewer and fewer things with take more and more impact.
Greg: Wait, has Dom been to where Letty had her accident yet?
Joe: He was at right after they meet. He’s like.
Greg: Take right, take me there. And he kind of is standing in the middle of the road and the whole scene unfolds in front of him, right?
Joe: So he can see it. There’s still the meth, nitro, meth.
Greg: There were some burn marks on the ground, the kind of burn marks. Yeah, that only come from one thing. And that’s nitro meth. And how many people in LA do you think so, Nitro, man?
Joe: I mean, if I’m guessing multiple, but that’s not the case.
Greg: There’s only one guy in all of LA that sells that I’d really just wish me would say like, aren’t there like 206 guys that sell it in orange County, like up, up up up up, up? No. Yeah, only LA. That’s all we need to worry about when we get to the next plot point. Gotta just focus only on LA.
Joe: Clearly the crime scene cleanup hasn’t come through, so, like, clean up the nitro meth and the whatever.
Greg: He does the investigation thing though, where he kind of like, pokes at something with his finger and then smells it on the ground.
Joe: Yeah, rubs in.
Greg: Like the cop who’s tasting cocaine.
Joe:
Greg: I really love that. Mia then says If Letty were here, she’d beg you to let it go before it’s too late because it’s already too late. Yeah. Have we mentioned that Paul Walker in the first movie was an L.A. cop? Right. And now he’s in the FBI? Yeah. And he distinguishes himself in the FBI by being the one that doesn’t shave.
Greg: We need to pause here for a second, because I adore every FBI office scene in this movie.
Joe:
Greg: Like we first walk in and, Lisa Lip Kira is like his assistant. And the first thing she says is the boss is in a mood because yesterday was his cheat day. And today somebody brought some donuts. That’s the first line. It’s like that’s legitimately kind of funny. Yeah. And probably a real thing that happens in L.A amongst these actors.
Greg: We meet this crew and I 1,000% want to see this office become a procedural weekly spinoff show. We could just call it Cheat Day. We’ll call this show Cheat Day. It’s these FBI agents just eating carbs and solving murders. Yeah.
Joe: I mean.
Greg: Anyways, we see Paul Walker at work. He’s at the FBI now.
Joe: And that’s where we first. Then we learn about Braga. Braga, the cartel boss, that they are trying to tie something to, and they’re running out of time and and lots of scenes of people in the car, too.
Greg: Okay, so here’s my question, Dom, who’s the best at everything forever. Hits the nerds. We cut to Paul Walker and he says too soon. This is a thing that happens when it’s like a NAS off at the end of a race. Often in these movies, someone always does it too soon. Why is it too soon?
Greg: Why is the timing of it? It’s still making you faster and getting you to the finish line fast.
Joe: I don’t know if it runs out.
Greg: Can you explain this to me?
Joe: I can’t.
Greg: This is a new segment we have called Joe Explains Fast and Furious to Greg. 35 minutes in, Gal Gadot walks in first movie. What’s your take on Gal Gadot walking into a movie?
Joe: She holds her own in this movie. She’s fine.
Greg: Yeah.
Joe: Her character doesn’t have a lot of range in it, but.
Greg: She’s not bad in this. Yeah, it’s pretty good.
Joe: Yeah, she’s not bad in this. I mean, I don’t think every anybody is great in this, but nobody is terrible at that. Nobody ruins this movie from an acting. Sam. What they really I mean, I think this is the, the the beauty of Justin Lin as he everybody is set up for success. And what this is, he knows what this movie is.
Joe: He knows what these characters are supposed to be doing. Sure. And he’s not pushing them to be anything more or less than that. And I think that’s the sign of a good director.
Greg: She was a she was a model before this. And there’s, there’s like soul to her performance. That is unexpected. But, yeah, she works for Braga, and we meet Campos and Phoenix, and we’re pretty sure Phoenix is the dude that killed Letty. I think I’m going to be Phoenix for Halloween.
Joe: I think that’s a good idea.
Greg: I’m pretty sure I could pull off that hair.
Joe: He’s a good bad guy in this, too. He’s a good, like, henchman. Bad guy. You don’t like him, but do you fear him? He’s got that nailed.
Greg: Yeah. He’s just, you know, hanging out on Saturdays at a cockfight. I’ll probably do that to get ready for Halloween.
Joe: I mean you’re really method about your Halloween costume.
Greg: So obviously can we talk about her dumb grips a beer. Yeah.
Joe: It’s always bothered me. I’m glad you brought this up.
Greg: Is this a character choice. Is this how Vin Diesel really drinks beer? What’s happening here?
Joe: I think it’s really how he drinks beer, and he doesn’t realize it, but he holds the bottle like a fist around the top of it. Yeah, he doesn’t hold it with, like, two fingers and a thumb. Which. Right. It bothers me. It’s bothered me every time I’ve seen him drink a beer.
Greg: I think this is probably how I drink root beer. When I was like 17, I thought I was just like the coolest kid on the planet. That’s a grown man in a movie. In 2000.
Joe: It’s so weird. It’s so weird. And I’ve noticed that every time he holds it like that, it’s just it’s, it’s offputting quite frankly. Vin Diesel, if you’re listening to us, please stop doing that. Yeah, for the love of God.
Greg: There is just no possible way he will stop doing that. No, because it’s it’s character.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: He’s Francis Ford Coppola in that beer.
Joe: Honestly, I could totally see him having a backstory of why he hold the beer like that. And if he has it and he’s done that.
Greg: Yeah.
Joe: Actorly work. Awesome. I’m sure on. And I’m going to start holding my beer that way.
Greg: So Campos is working for Braga. We think Braga is this old man that Paul Walker sees him drinking with. And then he goes in and gets the shot glasses so that he can get some fingerprints, gives them to his assistant and says, you’re going to have to go beyond Interpol to get these fingerprints. Anytime somebody says, you’re gonna have to go beyond Interpol, my ears perk up.
Greg: Yeah.
Joe: And anytime Interpol in a movie, I’m like, tell me more about what you think this mythical agency can do.
Greg: Don’t limit yourself with Interpol. You got to go beyond that.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Paul Walker tells me that he let Dom go in the first movie because he respects him more than he respects himself.
Joe: Yeah, because he’s got a code. I think right man’s got to have a code.
Greg: I kept thinking of, Clint Eastwood while I was watching this movie. Vin diesel seems to be kind of falling into the archetypal Clint Eastwood western.
Joe: Yeah, I can 100% see that.
Greg: He’s, like, not following the rules, but he does have a code. Yeah, there’s a lot of Western allusions. Kind of.
Joe: Interesting. I can totally see that. Yeah. This is he’s definitely in Clint Eastwood territory of like the impact of Clint Eastwood’s dialog was very he didn’t say a lot, but he. Right.
Greg: And Dom does emote a bit more in this movie than he does. And I think any of the other ones, he hadn’t quite figured out how to do nothing yet. Yeah. So he’s emoting and there’s a lot of flip phones in this movie, and I feel like I appreciate any movie that’s pre iPhone. I think cell phones ruin movies and smartphones for sure.
Greg: Ruin them even more. So now I’m like nostalgic for flip phone movies like, oh, that’s adorable. It’s a classic combo of flip phones and Clint Eastwood Fast Furious four. We find out that Letty went on that drug run when she died via Paul Walker hooking her up with the job. Dom starts throwing Paul Walker around the room. This is the that’s like the moment where he, you know, he says she did it for you.
Greg: Dumb.
Joe: That’s right. Because she’s trying to get Braga and clear his name. Wow, that’s.
Greg: A good memory. That’s amazing. I don’t think I could have. I’m just not paying attention to plot the way you are. It’s kind of like I don’t pay attention to lyrics and songs. Yeah. Letty came to me to clear your name in exchange for bringing down Braga, is what he says.
Joe: Yeah, which is how the law works. So that’s good.
Greg: So entirely checks out. Yeah. A-plus.
Joe: Makes sense. Cut to them just being in Mexico again. Don’t worry about how they got there.
Greg: Delgado drives a mini car up the side of a mountain to meet them.
Joe: Somehow. Says that he’s going to be at this church.
Greg: Yeah.
Joe: This is the biggest flaw in this entire movie.
Greg: There’s no way that’s true. But go on.
Joe: He is one of the most powerful cartel members. They set him up like they sell the bad guy of who Braga is.
Greg: Sure. Yeah.
Joe: One of the most wanted people on the planet, you would assume. Yep. And his guards are only guarding the front doors of the church. He is inside the church all by himself to pray. It gives the priest a lot of money and he has the place to himself. And then Paul Walker and Vin Diesel just walk in and kidnap him.
Greg: From one side.
Joe: Yeah, from one side.
Greg: And then leave on the other side.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Multiple doors.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Just not at.
Joe: All. Yeah, yeah. That that’s the like the most powerful cartel member in Mexico. A he deserves to be captured. And this is really.
Greg: Can we talk about this scene though? I thought this scene was really sweet. He walks in, he gives a duffle bag full of money as opposed to the priest. The priest does some sort of blessing or whatever. Well, first of all, he kneels in front of the priest, which I thought was really interesting. Like, like some submits to that.
Greg: And, and the whole time I was like, oh, is he going to like, kill everybody? Is this what this is? No. He’s just like going into a church and having some church time. And I realized in retrospect that Braga is not the insane, malicious bad guy that I think I assumed he was. It made giving this too much.
Greg: I think there’s more depth to this character than I originally thought. John Ortiz is the actor. I’m willing to watch anything John Ortiz is in from now on. I think John Ortiz is should be in everything. So anyways, I like this scene. I was kind of like Okay. Braga is like a man of the people down there or what’s happening here.
Joe: I’m not sure. I didn’t mind that scene either. It’s very classic. We’re in Mexico so we have sepia tones. It looks like Robert Rodriguez shot this this entire sequence down there. Yeah. The only thing it was missing was a frog gets down on his knees. And to thank the priest of like, a flock of birds like flies off the John.
Joe: Well, yeah, that’s all we were missing from this. But yeah, I do feel like Braga may be a little misunderstood in this. I guess we’ll never know. He ended up in jail at the end of this.
Greg: So, I mean, later on when Paul Walker is driving him away, he’s totally just laughing and enjoying it and making fun of Paul Walker’s driving. And Paul Walker eventually, like, elbows him in the face, but he’s just kind of like enjoying himself and not like in a malicious way. Like he’s like, what do you think is going to happen here?
Greg: Yeah, I don’t know. I just I think this is the most generous viewing I’ve ever had of Braga watching this, maybe like I’m down with this dude. John Ortiz is killing it right now. This is amazing.
Joe: There’s some other scenes and earlier in the film too, where you kind of get a little bit of depth on on where he is and, you know, kind of growing up similarly to the Dom and all of that and their, their backstory. So.
Greg: Well, yeah, I mean, so Dom and Paul Walker, I can’t call him Brian, or Kevin Paul Walker walks in and he says, you and I aren’t that different. And this is also something that needs to happen in every movie that I watch, you and me, we’re the same. That’s a tell. Like, get Greg Swain out on the phone.
Greg: We’re making his favorite movie. But if we could just time out for just a second.
Joe: Sure.
Greg: And just if we could just recognize that this movie’s music, the action, the editing, the directing, the acting, basically, I’m saying, like everyone who is involved with Fast and Furious four is note for note, scene for scene, perfect. Yeah, like I can’t imagine there being a better Fast and Furious movie. I just had this moment right after Phoenix died and I just thought, oh my gosh, we haven’t even gotten to fast five yet.
Greg: This is still just fast four, and I’m more than satisfied. This movie was perfect. A-plus.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: We haven’t even gotten to the best one yet.
Joe: Well, as you know, my whole theory about fast four and fast five is that they’re one movie. Yeah, and it’s the most perfect action movie ever.
Greg: Interesting that Paul Walker didn’t want to make this movie. Vin diesel had signed on and called him and told him, let’s make this the best final chapter in the Fast and Furious series that we can. I think this could have been the greatest last movie in the Fast and Furious franchise. I think they clearly left everything on the field.
Joe: And then five comes and you’re.
Greg: Like, exactly, exactly.
Joe: There was more.
Greg: By the way. They, it was supposed to come out in June, and it ended up coming out in April. And the composer had three days to make his music awesome. Anyways, should we, do you want to say anything else before we get to drinking games?
Joe: I think just how it ends is Vin Diesel has captured how I can give them the chance to run. He’s like, no.
Greg: I’m done running Clint Eastwood. Yeah.
Joe: Come to the courtroom. While you did help us capture this, you know all your other crimes don’t make up for it. You’re sentenced to 25 years to life gavel. The last scene is so perfect. He’s on the prison bus out.
Greg: Orange jumpsuit?
Joe: Yeah. Orange jumpsuit.
Greg: That’s better tailored to his muscles than anyone else on the bus.
Joe: Yeah. You see cars coming over the horizon, and then it’s Paul Walker at Mia, and it’s, the two fellows from the opening scene.
Greg: Santos.
Joe: Yeah, and they kind of do the thing where they split out and drive around, and Vin Diesel sees it and smirks and then credit. And it’s perfect. It’s a perfect, perfect ending. Yeah.
Greg: My arms were above my head. It’s as if I went to a concert and the opening band was the best man I’ve ever seen, and I forgot that my favorite band was headlining the show. That is what watching this movie was like.
Joe: That’s like you’re listening to all I Do Is Win by Jake Allen because it’s, you know, my hands.
Greg: And then they stay there. Yeah. Can we talk for just a second about the day? Fast and Furious four came out? I don’t think they knew to what degree. In fact, Paul Walker stated, I don’t, I just didn’t think anyone would really care. The first, The Fast and the furious was for young people, and this was nine years later and trends change so fast.
Greg: This movie, made more money in its opening weekend than Fast and Furious three, made entirely.
Joe: That’s crazy.
Greg: It set the record for highest April opening or highest spring opening, the first day of Fast and Furious. It grossed $30.6 million. It made more money than The Lost World Jurassic Park two did in its opening weekend, which was the previous record holder.
Joe: Crazy.
Greg: The world was so ready for this film. And it could have been horrible. This is the first proper sequel to The Fast and the furious, and, people were here for it. So this movie made $155 million domestic, 205 international total of 360, $350 million. What do you think the tomato rating is for this movie?
Joe: I feel like this is one of those like you talk about, you know, going to lower expectations, so you’re going to get a higher I feel like it probably the Rotten Tomatoes is 60% on this.
Greg: This movie has a 28% rate on the audience score is 67%. So that why this movie made a ton of money.
Joe: Crowd pleaser.
Greg: Apparently not well received by our our typical metrics, right? But that just doesn’t make any sense because it made so much money. Critics really didn’t like it. But how different is fast five than fast four? At its core, fast five is basically just super fast four, right? Yeah. And it has a tomato rating of 77%. So there’s something very bizarre happening here.
Greg: A lot of the reviews say this is this franchise should just die. And then when fast five comes out they’re like oh my gosh a miracle is happening in the form of Fast and Furious movies. And it’s all because this movie was so good.
Joe: That’s surprising that that score seems really low to me on it.
Greg: Some of the top critics said, negative things like boiled down to his its essentials. Fast and furious is for pretty swell auto race video game games encased in the bloated carcass of a script by Chris Morgan that must have been researched in the archive of movie cliches, other people said, though I admit the title of the film is slightly dumb, I can’t really fault much else going on here.
Greg: Yeah, that’s just honest.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Another guy said there are only a couple things to be said about this movie. The cars are fast, the racing is faster, and none of it makes the slightest bit of sense. Positive rating.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: So there really is just people’s hearts changed in the next couple of years. Yeah. They were like, you know what? We take it back. What fast Four was, was the beginning of something great and fast Five is amazing.
Joe: Yeah. I just I thought it would be better received by the critics, but yeah, it did. It just caught something that must have. I mean, I missed it when it came out like you did, and even Fast Five, I was kind of behind a little bit on, on both of those.
Greg:
Joe: But it was so different than the Fast and Freeze movies that I’d seen before. So I, I just, I appreciated it and that while fast five definitely takes it up a notch.
Greg:
Joe: And all the best ways of what a sequel can be, this movie is so good. So I don’t know what to say about it other than it’s interesting and I feel like critics missed it. And then Fast Five is not like 40 percentage points better, right? Then it’s like, yeah, it feels like they’re fairly comparable. Like they’re it’s a very similar movie.
Greg: I don’t think these critics understood what they had. Yeah. Their hands with this.
Joe: Let’s get the drinking game.
Greg: All right. Let’s do.
Joe: It. So, Silent Helicopter in this movie.
Greg: No. But you know what? At the end of the movie, when the cops show up and they’re arresting Braga.
Joe:
Greg: There are two extremely and needlessly low flying helicopters with those cop cars. So I’m going to take it. All right. Take it. Helicopter out of nowhere. Needlessly low flying helicopters as an acceptable substitute. Yeah.
Joe: We’ll give it. What about a push in and enhance.
Greg: No. But, you know, there’s the kind of enemy of the state surveillance from the satellite. Yeah. Classy. I’ll take it.
Joe: Yeah, you can drink if you want to. You don’t have to drink. It won’t force you, but, Yeah. What about, when two people share a slow motion look in the middle of the chaos? I don’t really know. What about an explosion with silent suffering and ringing in the ears?
Greg: Not in this one. Yeah. It’s coming.
Joe: Opening credits scene or the title locks into place with the sound.
Greg: Oh, it’s classy and distinguishes itself.
Joe: Yeah. Does it flash back to dialog? Two minutes ago.
Greg: I don’t I don’t think.
Joe: So.
Greg: Yeah, but you know what? I’ve seen this movie a million times and I honestly thought it was going too many times.
Joe: Yeah, it feels like it should too. You know, I feel like they could easily have cut back to multiple times of Letty and them on the beach in the after the opening scene. Yeah, it doesn’t, but they should. I feel like it’s a missed opportunity. I not crazy CGI car flipping and bad special effects.
Greg: A CGI close call in the beginning is is the epitome of what we’re getting out there.
Joe: What about great bad shots where the bad guys are just good enough to shoot at somebody where, like, hits the head, rest behind them, but doesn’t actually hit them.
Greg: Like over a dozen Swat people fly into the room and are closer than 20ft to everybody and firing their guns at everything. And as far as I can tell, no one gets shot.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Those are bad. Great shots, I guess. Yeah, those great bad shots are bad. Great shots I don’t know.
Joe: Are the streets inextricably wet?
Greg: No.
Joe: They are again. But missed opportunity, especially in the in the street race scene. I feel like that should have been the.
Greg: Ones at night. Yeah, sure. But the only had $85 million. You can’t get a water truck with 85 mil.
Joe: That’s too much. Too much to ask at this point. All right, what were some of the ones that you had?
Greg: All right, so my drinking games, I have a series wide drinking game across every Fast and Furious movie, and that is anytime Hans says the word Tokyo.
Joe: Okay.
Greg: Because he just is flirting with it the whole time. Just like I hear Tokyo is nice. He says that a thousand times. Anytime, hun. Eats a pork, right?
Joe: All right. Or is snacking on something? Potentially.
Greg: Is it always a pork rind? I feel like it’s always something.
Joe: It’s always something he always has a bag of something like that’s his, like, signature. You know.
Greg: I bet this is explained in Better Luck Tomorrow, the movie that Han came from before he jumped over to the Fast and Furious movie. It’s also just a little movie. Another series wide drinking game. Anytime Dom’s crucifix necklace changes hands.
Joe: Oh, I like that one.
Greg: Like he left it for Letty. When he left her, he basically he was easy, like a Sunday morning, and he’s like, girl, I’m leaving you tomorrow.
Joe: Yeah, he’s Lionel Richie.
Greg: It changes hands throughout the series. That necklace, just like the, you made the first move at the dinner table. So you have to say grace, that necklace changing hands happens more times than you would think is possible in a series. Any time someone says the word Braga. Take a drink.
Joe: That one’s the person you want to like drink the most. That’s the person you don’t like. And you’re like you’re drinking tonight.
Greg: And you can split this out. Either split this out to someone else. If they say Braga, take a drink the other person, anytime I say Braga, anytime they like, give a little extra to the pronunciation or same person gets both. But when they do the extra pronunciation, they have to do like a drink and a half.
Joe: Okay, done.
Greg: Series wide drinking in any time NAS is alluded to, shown, used or said.
Joe: I mean.
Greg: And one of my favorite things in this entire film, anytime Dom breaks through a car window with his elbow, can you imagine how much that would hurt? He does it so many times.
Joe:
Greg: That’s it.
Joe: All right. I have the Vin Diesel looks so when he’s smirking or when he’s serious. Those are the two looks. Yeah. Anytime there’s a mechanic montage of them fixing up the cars in advance of a big race. Sure. I love that this could be another series wide one. Anytime they show the gearshift when they’re in a race, you know, or in the opening scene, and she’s doing the three Dom’s and like, you see his hand and he’s revving the engine and it’s on the gearshift.
Joe: Those are the main ones that I have for this. I try to think of a series wide one. I think any time they’re they’re all at a barbecue or at the dinner table, because that’s just become the thing of how they end. Yeah. That’s why sometimes start every movie is them all sitting around together.
Greg: All right. Should we get to some important questions?
Joe: Yeah. Let’s do it.
Greg: Okay. Did it hold up then in 2009?
Joe: Probably not as much as it holds up now.
Greg: That’s exactly what I have. Do they sell the good guy? Not really.
Joe: Yeah. Not much. No.
Greg: Do they sell the bad guy?
Joe: Some, but not as much as I think they could have.
Greg: They build him up.
Joe: Yeah, yeah.
Greg: Does it hold up now 100%.
Joe: It’s more. It’s like a good wine. It gets better with age.
Greg: Does it deserve a sequel?
Joe: It deserves two sequels and it’s going to get like seven.
Greg: Does it deserve a prequel?
Joe: No. No movie deserves a prequel.
Greg: Who should be in the remake?
Joe: Nobody. This movie is perfect. I don’t want this movie remade.
Greg: Here’s where I disagree with you. This movie should totally be remade. But it should be a shot for shot remake with exactly the same cast.
Joe: Okay, that’s I mean.
Greg: It’s that’s that’s how Fast and Furious four gets rebooted.
Joe: Okay.
Greg: Just everybody.
Joe: With.
Greg: Remakes. It shot for shot.
Joe: Okay.
Greg: Aside from the remake and the prequel in the sequel, I obviously think there should be a spinoff television show. But what are we calling it? We’re calling it Cheat Day. They’re eating cars the whole time. They’re solving murders. Why is there romance in this movie, Joe?
Joe: I guess because Mia and Brian have to get back together and have a baby and fast five and anchor the heart of the movie around family.
Greg: I also kind of think that Paul Walker and Dana Brewster have some chemistry. Am I crazy?
Joe: No, I think you do. I think they do too.
Greg: Are we bad people for loving this movie?
Joe: No, this is a movie that we’re not bad people for loving this movie is perfect. Yeah, really? They’re moments. Watch this movie, turn your brain off and enjoy it. And I don’t feel like you’re a bad person for it.
Greg: I think there’s some aspects of this movie that don’t hold up so well.
Joe: May be true.
Greg: But I think I’m okay with being a bad person for loving this movie because there are a lot of us.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: There’s a lot of people who are on board with the Fast and Furious franchise. What album is this?
Joe: The best example? So that I kind of came back to like this is restarting a franchise. That’s really a different direction for it.
Greg: Okay.
Joe: And so I kind of took the example I have is Smash Mouth. When they did the soundtrack for Shrek. So they’re kind of big with walking on the sun and like what 9798. Something like that sir. And then you know but this was like then they became kind of the, the goat that they’re like the Randy Newman of the Shrek world, but now they’re doing.
Joe: Yes. So that was the that of the album I went with.
Greg: That’s amazing. Okay.
Joe: All right. I’m dying to know what album this is for you.
Greg: I decided to limit it to four albums. I think a fourth album that hits a new stride and really kind of lays the groundwork for what the future will become. Is Kanye West’s fourth album called Waits and Heartbreak which had a song on it called heartless. That was really good. Now I know that there’s a massive asterisk next to Kanye West named in 2024, so this is maybe creating a bit of a can we separate the art from the artists conversation?
Greg: But in 2008, the year before Fast and Furious came out, Kanye West had a massive impact on music and changed the future of music for quite a while. Anyway, it’s a heartbreak, basically set up the world for Drake. It was like, hey, look, what if I sang? Melody’s pitch corrected on top of, Kanye West beat? And then Drake was like, give me 12 years and I’m going to make a lot of money on this idea.
Greg: And I loved it. I listened to it so much. It’s such a better album than people thought the day it came out. Interesting all right, so we made it.
Joe: We didn’t have the conversation that needed to happen about Fast and Furious. Honestly, no one else needs to talk about these movies.
Greg: Oh, jeez. Hey, listen, this has been great, but, I need to go steal some gas for my people because, it’s the fuel of life.
Joe: Yeah, that’s all right. Yeah. I have to go talk to my friend, but go. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him anyway, he says he’s got a job for me in Mexico, so. Okay.
Greg: I’m sure that ends well. Yeah. My nitro meth dude just came back into town, so I got to go pick up some stuff.
Joe: Oh, yeah. The one guy in LA. Yeah, I know that guy. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I have to go pray in a really poorly guarded church. I don’t know why.
Greg: You’re constantly doing that. You know what? I just heard someone brought donuts to the office, so I should probably go grab some before.
Joe: Yeah. Cheat day. Yeah. That’s right. I have to go chase somebody through a crowded marketplace and dodge three bullets and then crash through a plate glass window to get one name out of them, so probably fine.
Greg: Again.
Joe: Yeah, again. It’s Tuesday.
Greg: Yeah. No, I just saw him Mia get home and she was at the store because apparently that’s her. The only thing she can do in this movie is go get groceries and then be emotional.
Joe: Yeah, that sounds right. I have to go drink a beer awkwardly and hold it in a really weird way, so. All right. See you soon.
Greg: See you soon.