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Somehow a sequel to both Mission:Impossible AND Face/Off? We’ll take it.
Have you ever wished a sequel to Mission:Impossible could also be a sequel to Face/Off? Well… We have some really good news for you. Just because this is the worst movie in the Mission:Impossible series, it’s still incredible. If this is rock bottom, this franchise might have the highest floor in history.
To celebrate M:I-2’s 24th anniversary (almost to the day!), Greg and Joe discover the secret to fully enjoying this movie (it might involve skipping the first half,) sneak in some Brian De Palma talk, and figure out the definitive ways to fix this (already amazing) movie.
Also: Drinking Games, Important Questions, Joe’s Back of the Box, and more.
Joe’s Back of the Box
Tom Cruise is back as Ethan Hunt to take on the Impossible… When a deadly virus is stollen, the fate of the world hangs in the balance as the team races to stop it from being sold on the black market. Master of action John Woo will have you on edge of your seat up until the final seconds… Alliances will be tested, hearts will be broken, and punches will be thrown, all in an attempt to keep the deadly Chimera from spreading.
The REAL Back of the Box
I’m not really sure how to describe the plot of this movie. On closer inspection it does not hold up. Thandie Newton’s character seems only there to look despondent while walking over rocks or to have hair blow across her face while driving. The first half the movie is very boring. The last half does make up for it with some stellar John Woo action moments. The jousting motorcycles and chase scene is particularly fun and the fight scene on the beach with waves accentuating each blow is awesome. But if you were looking for a John Woo, Tom Cruise action extravaganza you may be disappointed.
Note: This transcript has been auto-generated, so… You know… It’s not our fault.
Greg: Joe in the movie we watched this week. Someone stole a virus and sold it to a company. Not for money though. For stock shares so that they could profit from the sale of the antidote. My question to you is, have you ever done that?
Joe: Unfortunately, I have not done that. Well, okay. Hold on. Back up.
Greg: Okay. Have you ever snuck into some place? That’s my backup question.
Joe: Well, Yeah, I have snuck in. I snuck in to Bombay. Shoot. I had a friend that worked at, the Pacific Science Center. And at the time, if you worked at the Pacific Science Center, you could get in for free to go eat at bamboo shoots that we would put on the shirts, walk through the gate, go to the bathroom, take off the shirt and then get a stamp on our hand.
Joe: Then come back in.
Greg: When you walked.
Joe: Out? Yeah, when we walked out. And then we could come back in and out. So that was our big, like, scheme at membership. And there wasn’t a lot of money, but I didn’t have any money. So, you know, a $20 entrance fee was more than I could afford. What about you? Did you sneak in anywhere?
Greg: The most recent thing I can think of is I was at a Seattle Mariners game, and, they were playing the Milwaukee Brewers, and apparently, America was not interested in that game, and nobody went to this game at all. And so we decided, you know, where we’re going to go. We’re going to walk straight up to the seats behind home plate and see what happens.
Greg: And, and nobody stopped us. You want to go see your favorite baseball team? Go see them when they’re playing a team nobody cares about. All right, let’s get to the show. All right.
Joe: Let’s do it. The mother of all nightmares is on the loose. I don’t think I can do it. I mean, it’ll be difficult. There. Hello? Well, this is not mission difficult. And it’s mission impossible. Difficult should be a walk in the park.
Clip: You.
Clip: In the year 2000.
Greg: John Woo stepped up to the plate for Mission Impossible two. Or rather, M colon. I-2 as it was called. This movie stars Tom cruise, Tandy Newton, Brendan Gleason shows up, Ving Rhames, obviously Dougray Scott and uncredited Anthony Hopkins. We’re talking about Mission Impossible two today. Joe, this guy Tucker. Why is Mission Impossible to a great bad movie?
Joe: That’s a really good question because it’s it’s it’s a movie that doesn’t necessarily hold up under the test of time. But I have such a fond memory of this movie. I had seen the first one, and it’s a tight, good spy action movie. And then this one came out and it was like the hype around this movie was ridiculous.
Joe: In 2000, the Tom Cruise John together, what could go wrong? And quite frankly, if you kind of cut out the first half of the movie, the last half, it’s spectacular. Yeah, it’s basically an hour long. Yeah. Jumping from great action, seeing that great action scene that first half is a, a little bit tedious. It’s like they tried to throw in some of the spy stuff.
Joe: Yep. But really, if you can make it through the first half, the first hour, the last hour pays off in every way you’d ever want a John Woo Tom cruise Mission Impossible movie to to play out. So, I think it’s a great bad movie in my mind. What about you?
Greg: Well, John woo, somebody that was very close to our hearts at this moment. And in retrospect, Face Off was his peak. And then this movie might not have been as good as Face Off. It was his next film. And then it’s pretty much downhill for John Woo. And it’s interesting to look back and think about why this movie is just the end of John Woo, essentially.
Greg: Yet it is very pure John Woo, despite the fact that he was basically kicked out of the editing room as they were editing it. And Tom cruise took it over as the producer, and he’s actually the one who finished the film.
Joe: Interesting. Okay, this is making more and more sense to me in my head. Yeah. Is there a John Woo kind of this movie floating around somewhere?
Greg: There’s a two hour, 40 minute cut of this movie and it’s rated R.
Joe: I am 100% in on this.
Greg: The first cut was rated R, and then they had to reedit it and they cut out 40 minutes. And kind of took away a lot of the violent sound effects that you might hear, like if you’re twisting someone’s neck to kill them, which Tom cruise kills over 100 people in this movie, probably in fairly violent ways. John Woo from the beginning says, he was in for a PG 13 movie, but I don’t know that he knew how to do that.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: And so they had to very much take out a lot of the sound effects and with precision cut around how people were dying in this movie to get it down to PG 13, taking out those 40 minutes, something they also did was very much emphasized the relationship. And like the romance between Tom Cruise and Tandy Newton and make it more of a love story.
Greg: But I think this is a great bad movie. I am one of the biggest fans of the Mission Impossible series on the planet. I think it’s fair to say this is universally the worst mission Impossible movie, but the series has such a high floor, right? In this movie, it’s so worth watching for a lot of reasons. Sometimes sequels don’t quite know what a series should be until quite a ways through, and so you see them really wrestling with what they think the Mission Impossible series should be.
Greg: And I don’t think they really hit that stride until the third one. But this is a great bad movie because it is just even though they took the cut away from John, well, you just can’t watch this without thinking only John Woo would have this in a film.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: There is so much slow motion and this movie.
Greg: He was filming, I think, with four cameras, regular film cameras filming 24 frames per second. That’s kind of like regular time. He was filming at 30 frames per second, which you can slow down to 24. So it’s a slightly slower. I don’t know if it’s going to make sense to anybody, but you can. And then there was, I think, a 60 frames per second.
Greg: So that’s like half time. And then he was also filming at 120 frames per second, super slo mo. So there’s just constant slow motion cutting in this film. It’s got some signature doves. That’s in my mind what’s needed for any great film.
Greg: The dove and this one, flies through flames. So bonus points.
Joe: Yeah. John. Woo! Doves are the biggest trope in this, and it’s kind of, hacks out into this, if you will. Yeah, but, like, I’m here for it. I remember in the movie The Killer. If you have not seen that John Woo movie, go see if you can find it. Yep. There’s just amazing use of both slow motion and doves and that and so ridiculous.
Joe: But so beautiful. And so there are those moments in it. Like there’s a shot of Tom cruise, like in a shootout, and it’s so tight on his face, and then it’s just slowed down with like a little bit of a breeze in a building where there shouldn’t be a very easy like, thank you. Yes.
Greg: So that’s impossible. Misplaced wind is an.
Joe: Important part of John Woo film. So all of those tropes are still alive and well, although I would love to see the two hour and 40 minute cut of this movie.
Greg: I wonder if he has it.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: He’s known to fly around with films now. Like literally films and cans and show up at a theater and play them. Because I don’t think you can get the killer or hardboiled in America. It only came out on DVD, and the Blu ray of Hard-Boiled is in on like a hard boiled video game disc. Anyways, should we back up and talk about Mission Impossible one for just a second?
Joe: Yeah, let’s do it.
Greg: What was your take on Mission Impossible one?
Joe: It’s Brian De Palma, so it’s a good director, right? I loved it, I love the twist they have or they basically. Yeah. If you haven’t seen it while I’m spoiling it, they kill off.
Greg: For Mission Impossible one.
Joe: Yeah, they kill off everybody in that first like, third of the movie. Yeah. And then Ethan Hunt is framed and he’s got to kind of clear his name essentially. Yeah. And get the NOC list, which is every time they say NOC list, you take a drink. That’s a drinking game for sure. It’s literally so yeah, I was pleasantly surprised by how good that movie was.
Joe: Yeah, like it’s a good action movie, but I would say it’s more of a spy movie than an action movie. It’s like a spy movie with some good action scenes in it. Whereas I feel like the rest of the Mission Impossible are action movies and more than they’re like spy.
Greg: Sure. Yeah, I would agree with that.
Joe: And you’ve seen it way more than I have. I think I’d seen this might have been the second time or third time I’d seen Mission Impossible one. Yeah. What are your thoughts on On Mission Impossible one?
Greg: I really love Brian De Palma. I’m a big fan of his biggest movies. I’m not the biggest horror movie guy. So I haven’t seen Carrie. I haven’t seen some of his earlier, more adventurous stuff, but some of the biggest movies out of the 80s and 90s were Brian De Palma as well. He would kind of come to the surface and make like The Untouchables to prove that he could, big Kevin Costner movie with Sean Connery and Andy Garcia and, he’s he’s really kind of known as someone who’s very Hitchcock ish, which was earned and at times not earned, if anyone’s interested.
Greg: And in learning more about Brian De Palma, there’s a great documentary on HBO about him. He said something that completely ruined watching movies for me. Because he is he is someone who is really fighting to make something. He’s trying to make a motion picture, you know, prove to me that this should be something we’re watching and not just hearing, basically.
Greg: And so he’s trying to make visuals that will actually tell the story as well. And he was talking about I think it was like the opening scene of, the opening scene of a movie where the camera is flying towards a city skyline on the water, you know, and it like, start. This is the opening shot of Fast and Furious four.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: It’s like water. And then the camera kind of pans up and you see the city that we’re flying towards, he said. Whenever I see that shot, I just I ask myself, where’s the idea? And now all the time when I’m watching movies that are potentially lazily created with shots like that, I just say, where’s the idea here?
Greg: What are they trying to tell me? Nothing. So he has definitely made me as a viewer, raise the bar. And with Mission Impossible Man, what a good movie. I feel like if you haven’t watched old movies, like old Hitchcock movies from the 50s or the 60s, and you don’t want to, you could probably watch Mission Impossible and get a taste of kind of the beginning days of cinema and what made it great, because that’s what it seems like.
Greg: That’s kind of what Brian De Palma is. Looking back to.
Joe: Yeah, putting it in that light, it definitely reminds me, because I grew up on really old movies from like the 40s and the 50s and like the like, and it totally reminded me. I think I enjoyed it more this time than the first time I watched it. Well, I don’t know that I appreciated it yeah, as much in the first time, but this time I was like, this is a really good movie.
Joe: And it I think it does set up the rest of the series as well. Like, I don’t feel like it’s out of place in this series where, you know, now if you look at fast and the Furious One versus Fast and Furious, any of them after four, you’re like, how are these the same characters? Yeah. Where Ethan Hunt, you can you can make the case and see where he’s going with it.
Greg: I don’t know if I’m gonna get a chance to talk about Brian De Palma match on this show, unless he was like, bonfire of the vanities. So, So that’s why I just wanted to take a minute. But it does really set the scene. I don’t know that you could find a first movie and a second movie that are more different than Mission Impossible one and Mission Impossible two.
Greg: Mission impossible one is a very backward looking, spy movie, I guess a little bit like The Untouchables. That was a bit of a throwback as well. And John Woo decided to go an entirely different direction. None of the same group is there. That was in the first movie, although there are early versions of the script where they were there.
Greg: But Ving Rhames shows up. He’s in all the movies and I will just say that I kept going with my research about this movie, and by researching them, I mean I listen to somebody else’s podcast.
Joe: Perfect.
Greg: Charles Hood and Drew Taylor are making this podcast called Light the Fuze, and it’s all about the Mission Impossible series, and they have amazing people on there, including David Kapp, who wrote the first Mission Impossible before Robert Towne took over. And he told this story of why Ving Rhames is in all the Mission Impossible movies. They did a script reading of the first movie, and it went pretty well.
Greg: They kind of said, okay, well, does anybody have any questions.
Joe: Or anything before we go on?
Greg: Ving Rhames said, I have a question. Why does the black guy always have to die? They said, well, like everybody in this movie dies. And he said, no, but I mean, like in every movie, why does the black eye always have to die? So they kept him alive in Mission Impossible one, and he’s in every movie.
Joe: That’s awesome. So Vang Rhames asked.
Greg: The question that needed to be asked and has now been in. I guess they’re filming eight right now. Mission impossible eight. So with Mission Impossible two, Tom cruise at that point had been in kind of an Oscar winning movie called born on the 4th of July, directed by Oliver Stone. And so Tom cruise reached out to Oliver Stone and Oliver Stone was attached and got to work on a script for Mission Impossible two.
Greg: So Oliver Stone was going to make Mission Impossible two.
Joe: That would be a crazy movie. So many cuts. Like, it’s one of those, like, you think Tony Scott has a lot of cuts in his movies, and then Oliver Stone is like, hold my beer, I got you totally. That would have been a wild movie. I would that would be an awesome movie to see. Me too. With Oliver Stone.
Greg: He gave some quotes where he was kind of like, I obviously make different kinds of movies, and I need to come up for air and make a big movie that Tom cruise lets me make. I want to talk about the turn of the century and where I think we’re going. And so he worked on a script with a guy with his guy, and I’m forgetting his name, but they got a whole script together.
Greg: And then because Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were filming Eyes Wide Shut, and that went over with Stanley Kubrick by, like a year or 18 months or something. Oliver Stone had to walk away. And then Tom cruise loved Face Off and asked John Woo to make a face off. That was a mission impossible movie. So that’s how this came to me.
Greg: That’s awesome. This movie is so funny because it is so John. Well, and I feel like we have to have a bit more of a conversation about John Woo, because why? I remember just falling out of my chair loving face off so much. Like on paper, that movie should not have worked at all and it was a perfect film in every way.
Joe: It’s a weird film, and I think where John Woo is at his best and like I’ve seen 3 or 4 of his other films, kind of his Hong Kong films before he kind of hit them, hit it here. Sure. And where he thrives and where Face Off is great because he has the two leads, John Travolta and Nicolas Cage, playing into the John Woo trope of, like, being a really melodramatic over the top actor.
Joe: And yeah, you know, and so, like, their characters are ridiculous, but it works like it’s it shouldn’t work. But you can kind of throw it all together into this soup of whatever it is. And then it’s like. And so it’s spot on. Perfect. Like, it just I don’t, I can’t, I can’t put my finger on what it is.
Joe: And it’s like the, the killer and, and hardboiled the same way. Like there’s a lot of like melodramatic slow motion, you know, music swellings. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Hero wearing a trench coat, walking down the street like the coolest person, you know, and they kind of try that of the opening shot of Tom cruise, where he’s rock climbing and it’s ridiculous.
Greg: Sure.
Joe: You know, spoiler alert. Silent Helicopter shows up and, you know. Yes. So you have all of that. But like, Tom cruise doesn’t play it like John Woo enough, if that makes sense. Like, I feel like he needs to be a little bit like he needs to amplify it and be almost like a caricature of Ethan Hunt instead of playing it straight.
Joe: And I think sometimes, what does it do, Gary Scott, who’s the bad guy? Kind of. Yeah, walks the line where John Woo wants him to be. But it that kind of mismatch of where Tom cruise is playing his character and where a character works for John Woo is is the is the problem I think. And maybe it’s in the editing.
Joe: Maybe there’s, you know, again, that two hour and 40 minute cut would be amazing to see. Quite frankly.
Greg: I was just thinking that it didn’t occur to me how close this movie is to face off because of all the, masks in this movie. There’s way more masks in this movie than there were in the first one. Yeah, and the place where Tom cruise gets to be somewhat like John Travolta or Nicolas Cage in Face Off is when he’s Dougray Scott with a Tom cruise mask on.
Joe:
Greg: Any any like furrows his brow and looks all evil. But it’s Tom cruise.
Joe: Yeah, and vice versa. There’s a couple of those. Yeah, like, yeah.
Greg: This is face off.
Joe: Maybe it is. If he put it in that mind.
Greg: This is face off too. Yeah. Which is totally what Tom cruise is going for I think.
Joe: Yeah. Okay. So it works then. I mean so yeah there’s yeah I mean I’m back in.
Greg: There is the mellowed like a thick lathering of melodrama on top of everything in this movie. And when it’s melodramatic action, I feel like that’s when I get to just, like, sink into my chair and really enjoy John Woo. Like, this is preposterous and the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And the melodramatic drama really falls flat.
Greg: And so that is where this movie probably doesn’t entirely work. But at the same time, I would not be opposed to more movies.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Creating the like the slow motion Tom Cruise and Tandy Newton staring at each other while Spanish dancers are dancing.
Joe:
Greg: Or they’re driving next to each other in cars that are now hooked together and like like they’re not doing spinning. Yeah. Down the road and they’re slow motion staring at each other like I love you. What are we up to here? It’s just amazing. I love it so much for the people who haven’t seen this movie.
Greg: Why don’t we? I can’t wait to hear how you do this. Why don’t we get to what it would be like if you were at a video store, like blockbuster, walking down the aisle and checking out the back of the box of this movie, it’s time for the back of the box.
Joe: It’s the back of the box. Tom Cruise is back as Ethan Hunt to take on the impossible when the deadly virus has stolen. The fate of the world hangs in the balance as the team races to stop it from being sold on the black market. Master of action John Woo, we’ll have you on the edge of your seat up until the final seconds.
Joe: Alliances will be tested, hearts will be broken, and punches will be thrown, all in an attempt to keep the deadly chimera from spreading. So that’s the back of the box.
Greg: Okay, so that was what you know, you’d read as you were walking down blockbuster. But if this was a release that you were putting out, Joe, what is the real back of this box going to say.
Joe: The on the back of the box? It’s like, I’m not really sure how to describe the plot of this movie. On closer inspection, it does not hold up. Tandy Newton’s character seems only there to look despondent while walking over rocks, or to have her hair blow across her face while driving. The first half of the movie is very boring.
Joe: The last half does make up for it, with some stellar John Woo action moments. The jousting motorcycles and chase scene is particularly fun. The fight scene on the beach, but the waves accentuating each blow is awesome. But if you were looking for a John Woo Tom Cruise’s action extravaganza, you may be disappointed. So that’s that was my real.
Joe: Although I feel like I could, I was a little bit more down on it than I am now talking about that. But yeah, but there are some amazing moments in this. I do have to say, the whole point of the movie from the first half of the movie is Tom cruise is recruiting Tandy Newton because the bad guy, Dougray Scott, is at his ex.
Joe: Sure. And so she is supposed to get information. Yeah. Back to Tom cruise, Ethan Hunt to help them get the virus. Although at no point does that fact affect the outcome of the movie in any way. It’s not like, yeah, she gets them a piece of information that they didn’t have because they end up tracking the virus to the lab anyway.
Joe: So it’s just weird, like there’s really no point for what they do to her and then. Right. And this is where I feel like the maybe the in the editing room or whatever it was, they just like, we’ll just kind of gloss over the fact that there really isn’t a point for her character to actually go back with her ex at this point, and that they could have gotten her out at any point.
Joe: Now, I may be missing something that you might remember, but.
Greg: Well, that gets to when they were making this movie, there were two screenwriters who came from the Star Trek world that were doing a pass on it. One of them had the last name Braga, so you have to assume he’s the guy that, the bad guy in Fast and Furious four is based on the new guys said, I think we should have Tandy Newton be someone who had an old relationship with the bad guy.
Greg: And Tom cruise said, oh, you mean. So, Ethan Hunt is basically doing it notorious. They said the Hitchcock movie. I’ve never seen it. And he said, oh, and Tom cruise just turned out the lights and turned his projector on the wall and showed them his copy of Alfred Hitchcock’s Notorious, which had Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, I think.
Greg: I think it’s like the FBI convinces Audrey Hepburn to help them out by reconnecting with an old flame of hers. And so that’s why in this movie, Tandy Newton is the one person on the team that he has to choose because of this connection that she has with the bad guy. So, whenever the script was flying off the rails, which it was the entire time they were making and editing this movie, they just kept going back to, well, what happened to notorious?
Greg: And it was they kind of like, criticize this movie for basically being a copy of notorious after the first movie, which had been so Hitchcock as well, because it was Brian De Palma. So I think the only reason this movie works is because it’s a copy of notorious.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: The only thing that they had planned for this movie was really big action sequences. And then they had to figure out how to stitch them together with a plot, which is kind of how they make the movies now.
Joe: Yeah, but.
Greg: They have potentially better writers who are kind of connecting everything and fixing things.
Joe: It’s almost like, like a science of how they do the movies now of like, what are the action sequences? And really, the last half is a great action movie. Yeah, yeah. Three really stellar, awesome scenes that it does drag in the first half when they’re trying to basically make up now sound like notorious.
Greg: At the beginning of the last hour of this movie, there’s actually a scene where Tom cruise restates the entire plot that’s happened so far out of nowhere, and I realized you literally could just start the movie right there.
Joe: Awesome.
Clip: Lucy, we know this much. The Corvette gets on a plane to go to the center for Disease Control in Atlanta. He’s carrying a virus. He created chimeric and the cure for that virus.
Joe: Bellerophon.
Clip: Ambrose doesn’t have the virus.
Joe: That’s why Ambrose needs McCloy.
Clip: So we’re going to buy a saint, kill Chimera. Ambrose has a cure. He’s had a disease, and we’re all free.
Greg: But if you watch the beginning, you kind of see John Woo basically making, that James Bond movie, like, the bad guy cuts off the tip of his henchman finger with a cigar cutter.
Joe:
Greg: That’s something a bad guy does. And like bond movies or whatever. Brendan Gleeson shows up out of nowhere. Oscar nominee Brendan Gleeson shows up out of nowhere. He sees a newspaper next to him. And it’s it’s a newspaper that says he has already died or gotten sick with us with with Chimera, which is a great touch. I love that move in a movie, you know, like when somebody calls 911 and said, like to report a murder, and then the person they’re in the room with realizes they’re about to get murdered.
Greg: I love that.
Joe: Stuff.
Greg: I’m curious if we could talk just a little bit about what makes this movie. So 23 years ago, this really captured a moment so strongly, and I think you could sum it up with just two words. And those two words are Limp Bizkit. Like, if you watch this movie, you’re like, oh my gosh, we people really wore those Oakley sunglasses for a while, or this really did pass as an action movie in the late 90s, early aughts.
Greg: But also there was a time where Limp Bizkit was a thing.
Joe: I like big and popular and was my going to be the next great rock band.
Greg: Wasn’t the DJ and Limp Bizkit the DJ from House of pain?
Joe: You would know better, but I think that sounds right.
Greg: If I’m remembering that wrong, maybe it was the DJ in Hoobastank that was the DJ, right? Who knows? But like every Incubus, like everybody had a DJ. All of a sudden I don’t even know who was kind of deejay. There was a band called Hoobastank during this time. That’s if that’s not Mission Impossible two, they probably were on the Mission Impossible soundtrack.
Greg: I have no idea.
Joe: I’m trying to think of a like, if we’re looking at that time, is there a better action movie than this? Or what are the like, you know, late 90s, early 2000, great action movies. This has got to be up at the top. I can’t think of anything that way. I would say it better now. I probably need to look at a list.
Greg: Something you can say about all of the Mission Impossible movies is that the director who was chosen to make them was an inspired decision. I think it’s inspired that Brian De Palma made the first one. It’s inspired that Oliver Stone or one car we were both spoken to. It’s inspired the John Woo, honestly. I mean, how excited were we when this movie came out?
Joe:
Greg: That hasn’t lasted. You know that inspiration doesn’t quite hold up today the way it did back then. But still at the time it was a very inspired I think decision. Although there were some other directors from like 99 2000, you know, that could have made this movie, that would have made it potentially have a longer shelf life, like Fight Club came out in 99.
Greg: Maybe, Fincher could have made the Mission Impossible movie The Matrix came out in 99, which could have made a great version of this movie.
Joe: Deep.
Greg: Blue Sea Super Spy Sharks came out in 99. Renny Harlin could have made you know, he would have made a great version of this movie, although maybe it wouldn’t have a great. The Shelf Life also had the struggled, probably.
Joe: So many fans in that movie.
Greg: But The Iron Giant came out in 99, and that director Brad Bird did make, you know, Mission Impossible four. So I don’t know. It’s hard to think of how you could, make a better Mission Impossible two and set a firmer precedent that whatever director came in was going to make their version of Mission Impossible for a while anyway.
Joe: What if we had, like, you know, because we have The Bourne Identity come down in 2002, so what do we have, like Doug Liman and that kind of because that movie really changed action movies, I think, in a pretty major way. Yeah. From then on or for, you know, it was kind of more of a cerebral thing. The way the fight scenes were shot was different.
Joe: You hadn’t seen it before? Yep. That could have been a turning point for Mission Impossible. I still wouldn’t change a thing, honestly, about Mission Impossible. Do it with all its flaws. No, that I love John Woo. I’d like to see some of his later stuff and how he’s evolved, but the slow motion John Woo is a thing of beauty, and if you haven’t experienced it, it’s just there’s not.
Joe: You can’t explain it like it makes no sense and it makes perfect sense all at the same time.
Greg: Totally.
Joe: It’s like he he’s the master of like like putting a look in slow motion, like two people looking at each other.
Greg: I mean, we have a drinking game based on that. And the inspiration for that was this movie, to be honest. Yeah, maybe also a little bit of fast five.
Joe: Let’s be honest. Yeah.
Greg: Joe, it seems like we’re a little lukewarm on this movie. Rotten tomatoes.
Joe: How do you feel about the 56%.
Greg: On this movie.
Joe: That that’s critic score.
Greg: Critic score? Yeah.
Joe: Feels about right for the critics.
Greg: Interesting because I, I felt like it was a little bit low.
Joe: I’d give it about.
Greg: Maybe like a, I probably give it like a 70.
Joe: Okay. Well that’s fair.
Greg: Audience scores 42% on this thing.
Joe: Really. Yeah I feel that that feels that feels really low. I feel about like 30 lower than it should be to me. So if you.
Greg: If you turned it off after the first hour, you know, 42 might be right.
Joe: Yeah. Usually they’re reversed too. So yeah.
Greg: This was the highest grossing domestic box office of Mission Impossible movies until Mission Impossible six, which was fallout, which surpassed it by $5 million.
Joe: Interesting. So this did really well.
Greg: Did very well. This movie cost $125 million worldwide. It made 546 million. This was the number one box office movie in the year 2000. When you watch it now, do you think this is the biggest movie of 2000?
Joe: Try to think of what else came out in 2000.
Greg: Vertical Limit came out, Perfect Storm, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Charlie’s Angels, unbreakable M Night Shyamalan. If he could direct an action scene, he would have made a good Mission Impossible movie.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: X-Men came out shaft. Romeo Must Die.
Joe: Should I go on?
Joe: I mean, after you’ve read those movies, it doesn’t surprise me with the number one movie.
Greg: Yeah, that’s that’s a good point.
Joe: Charlie’s angels is the only one that I could think would make give it a run for its money. Yeah.
Greg: Have you watched the movie recently? Okay. I want to read some of the things that the critics said about this movie, because I think they’re pretty solid. The first is Tandy Newton is just about the best thing about MIT to playing a thinly written and cryptically motivated character with such charisma that one hangs on every lifting eyebrow and seductive smile.
Greg: It’s The Hollywood Reporter Tandy Newton, cast in this movie by Nicole Kidman and John Woo. I thought she was such a throwback that he decided to make her a, thief in the movie because she reminded him of old Hollywood, variety says woo lays on his own particular high octane stylishness, so thick the results edge perilously towards self-parody.
Joe: I mean, I get it, but also, that’s why we love watch John move film. So what the hell is your problem?
Greg: And that’s every John Woo movie. That’s why we go, yeah. Roger Ebert says if the first movie was entertaining as sound, fury and movement, this one is more evolved, more confident, more surefooted in the way it marries minimal character development to seamless action. This is dangerously close to Roger Ebert liking Die Hard two more than Die Hard one.
Joe: I know. Do you want to get to drinking games?
Greg: Let’s get to drinking games.
Joe: I think this is going to be spectacular. I, I’m very curious to see how much overlap there is in these. Yeah. So we have our stock drinking games which I will say for this one. They’re not a lot but there are some really classic ones. Sure. Open’s silent helicopter not once but twice in this movie. Glorious. So there’s the opening scene when he’s rock climbing, and then there’s when Tandy Newton is like, has the camera virus and is going to jump to her death.
Joe: And then, you know, up comes Bing Rhames and in the helicopter to save her. So beautiful. Yeah. Thank you very much. I don’t remember a potion and then hands, but I feel like there has to have been at least some kind of looking at a computer screen and looking at, like, so I will give you that one.
Greg: This movie has so many zoom ins. That’s something I meant to mention earlier. The camera zooms into things so fast, needlessly.
Joe: Yeah, we’ll give you that one. You can drink for that one. Sure, sure sure, sure. This is a John with the special one. Two people share a slow motion look in the middle of chaos. Like, that’s this movie.
Greg: Yeah, it is this movie. And I. I’m going to say it happens twice because Spanish dance is pretty chaotic.
Joe: Yeah. And they’re in the cars.
Greg: The cars.
Joe: Then they’re in the shootout in the. And so it’s oh it’s so glorious. Yeah. There isn’t an explosion with silent suffering or, and ringing in the air. There could have been, but, you know, opening credits scene locks in with a sound. It doesn’t lock in with a sound, but the, the the the score starts, so the theme starts, like, as it comes across the screen.
Greg: And the credits start when he throws the Oakley glasses towards the camera and they explode.
Joe: Yeah. So it explodes into Mission Impossible to.
Greg: Yeah.
Joe: Theme. Right. So you kind of get. Yeah, you get it a.
Greg: Fairly underwhelming opening credits scene, very detailed in my mind, but I mean Oakleys exploded to make it happen. So yeah, all the signs were there.
Joe: How much did they pay for that? You don’t know a lot. Yeah, exactly. Does it flash back to dialog two minutes ago or flash? It doesn’t really flash back to dialog in this film. I didn’t really know crazy CGI in this. Not really. I mean, this is kind of when they were still when things blew up and it was actually them with like making an explosion and stuff like that.
Joe: So I appreciate that.
Greg: Yeah, there was CGI in this movie though, but it was called, Danger Enhancement where they would take like places where he was on a ledge and they would make it look like it was further down. So that kind of CGI, which I’ve never heard of in my life, apparently happens all the time. Danger enhancement to make things look riskier, right?
Greg: Closer than they appear, that kind of thing. That’s interesting.
Joe: I’ll take it. I mean, I like when I don’t notice it, like, now it’s. So when I was watching the A-Team, there’s some really rough CGI moments in that film. Yeah, I remember like.
Greg: Oh, that’s like nine years later, right?
Joe: And I know you kind of glossed over it on a big screen, but, on the small screen without the good graphics, it was just like, oh, that’s right, that’s a little rough.
Greg: So totally. But in this movie, I mean, to its credit, in that scene, when their cars lock together and they start spiraling, they took a quarter mile of road and dug down and built a track with like a turntable on it that they could put two cars and film them spinning in circles for quarter mile on that road.
Joe: They don’t do that anymore. And I kind of missed that because there’s something about like the experience of that where now they just do it in a big green room, right, with like two cars and just like in the camera around it and being like, yeah, great. Bad shot. Great bad shots are all over this film.
Greg: Oh my gosh. Good luck. If that is a drinking game that is assigned to you, this is the alien Mission Impossible movie where just everybody’s shooting guns at each other all the time.
Joe: Yeah. And especially like that, it’s it’s the classic almost like late 90s, like, plate glass windows are just destroyed.
Joe: And none of them hit Tom cruise. And he doesn’t hit any bad guys, really, except for when he needs to. So pretty.
Greg: Rough shots.
Joe: Yeah. Are the streets inextricably wet? I didn’t catch any, but there could have been in the opening scene. I’m remembering maybe when they’re leaving the party.
Greg: If they. If they weren’t, they felt like they were.
Joe: Yeah, exactly. So you drink on that one? Sure. Do we have, give us the room? We don’t have that. Oh, this could have.
Greg: Been. We don’t have that. Although we do have a last kiss in the movie. And I’m just assuming that this is what you say. Any time you kiss somebody, you kiss them, and then you say, let’s get lost every time.
Joe: Yeah, yeah, okay. I haven’t seen them in years. So. We have, kill the henchmen. And there are all the henchmen die. But the good guy lives. No, that one does it for me.
Greg: You can’t find them after you kiss them.
Joe: Yeah, I know that’s the downside of saying that. Yeah. Color filters for third world countries. I didn’t see that very much in this. There could have been hints all. It is a warm film, so it’s like there is a color story to it, but.
Greg: The whole thing’s warm.
Joe: Yeah, yeah. So those are our stock ones, so maybe we can go one at a time back and forth, because I feel like our drinking games are going to be so close on this. So why don’t you take the first one?
Greg: All right. Every time someone takes off a mask, take a drink. That’s one person in the room. Gets that drinking game.
Joe: Yep. I have.
Greg: Do you have some like that.
Joe: Every time someone rips their face off? Yeah. You’re drinking. You have to.
Greg: It’s a better way to put it.
Joe: Every time they say the word chimera in this, you have to drink.
Greg: That’s. I have that exactly thing, so I will I will see your chimera and I raise you. Another person in the room has to take a drink every time they say Bellerophon or Bellerophon, whichever one it was.
Joe: Oh, I don’t have that one. Not. That’s a good one. I have, what I call John woo slo mo. So every time. Yeah, yeah. So I’m.
Greg: Laughing because I, my next one was anytime there slow.
Joe: Motion. Yeah. Perfect. I have a second one which is specifically slow motion hair shots because there are so many where it’s like in the cars. And I feel like Tom Cruise’s hairstyle is designed just to be, like, shot in slo mo. Yeah. For this.
Greg: His longest hair of all the Mission Impossible movies. Yeah. Is that a second one, or is that, I.
Joe: Think, a different one because there are like, they’re both in this, so.
Greg: Okay. I have every time the Limp Bizkit song comes on.
Joe: Okay, nice. I have, if you question why there are doves in the shot, you take a drink.
Greg: So if they run through fire, take two.
Joe: Yep.
Greg: Let’s see anytime there’s Spanish guitar.
Joe: Oh, take a drink. A good one, because that’s that’s a rough night. Unless you’re drinking water. I have. Every time you hear Anthony Hopkins cashing a check in a scene, you take a drink. And there’s no reason for him to be in this movie.
Greg: And he’s uncredited. He’s gonna like. I don’t either, guys.
Joe: Yeah, but,
Greg: Apparently they were nervous. Someone else dropped out. Who was it? Ian McKellen dropped out of this movie, and they got Anthony Hopkins last minute and he told John Woo, I absolutely love your movies. And I actually really love action movies. And so he entered a movie that had a horrible script and, you know, probably was going to be a mess.
Greg: But he has been in like Michael Bay movies. He is in like a Transformers movie.
Joe: All right. What’s another one that you have any time?
Greg: There’s old technology, like an old cell phone, a car phone or an old laptop screen. You will know this when you see it. Old technology. Take a drink.
Joe: Nice. I have every time they jump out of a building or a plane with Slayer, you have to take a drink with flair.
Greg: If they go without flair throughout the movie as well. Yeah.
Joe: So, like, there’s a scene where Tom cruise jumps out of a out of the building. Yep. And he does a flip out of the window and then the parachute opens. Even how like Dougray Scott, like when he jumps out of the plane in the opening scene.
Greg: Right?
Joe: Like there’s just, like a little extra like on that. A little bit extra. You take a drink of that.
Greg: So put some space on it.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: I have any time there is a dramatic music swell or sound effect for something that totally doesn’t deserve it.
Joe: Also, there are a lot of those in this.
Greg: Then they’re all over Face off as well, just like sound effects and swooshes and go and and craziness for just the dumbest little gesture.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Gestures with flair. Maybe we should call it that.
Joe: I mean.
Greg: If it doesn’t deserve it and there’s dramatic music or a side effect, take a drink.
Joe: Yeah. I have and this is another John with specific. So he has a specific way he does closeups and action scenes.
Greg: Yeah.
Joe: Where it’s like really tight to like there’s Tom cruise and like he’s pinned down and he can’t get out, but like, it’s just like this close a John would close up during an action scene to like, demonstrate that they’re in peril. It’s so beautiful.
Greg: And there’s a smash zoom into him. That moment is are you talking about on the beach when the knife gets super close to his eye?
Joe: There’s that one. And then there’s the one in the building where he’s got a gun and he’s kind of behind this thing, and they’re closing in and they’re like having a conversation. Oh, right. It’s right before Tandy Newton, like, shoots herself with camera virus. Yeah. And then there’s like, they share a moment of like, why it’s. Oh, it’s so beautiful.
Joe: Gorgeous.
Greg: And then he sets his watch for 20 hours because that’s how long she has until it totally takes over. And then we never see that clock again. We just hear him say we’re running out of time.
Joe: At one point.
Greg: Let’s see, anytime they show Brendan Gleason.
Joe: Oh, take a good one. He’s another one to make the big impact by cashing a check properly there for two days.
Greg: Absolutely.
Joe: You know, oh.
Greg: Kind of movie I want to be in.
Joe: Yeah. I have, every time there’s a car chase, you take a drink because there are several in this that are. The first one is. It’s all right. But the motorcycle one, that’s the one I’m really thinking of is it’s spectacular.
Greg: I kind of think they cut out the 20 hour countdown because of my next one. They do show clocks, counting things down quite a bit during this movie for different reasons. So any time a clock is shown counting down, take a drink.
Joe: I have. Every time there’s an odd use of a handheld, I feel like there are a few different moments and scenes, but like, I’m not quite sure what the point of it was. Yeah, usually they’re like they’re trying to bring you into the action, but it’s kind of like the music swelling and it’s like, not the greatest payoff, but it’s like, why is this a handheld all of a sudden?
Greg: So I like it, I like it. I have any time. There’s an extreme zoom.
Joe: Oh, that’s a good one. There’s a lot of that.
Greg: And I have to mention that that knife that went towards Tom Cruise’s eye, they came up with that thing that day like, oh, that would be an interesting shot for a movie. And Tom cruise wanted that knife to come within a quarter inch of his eye. And they built a rig where the knife was connected to a chain, so that absolutely would not go past a certain point.
Greg: So, he told Doug Greatest to first name basis with digress. God don’t even know if I’m pronouncing his name right. They do.
Joe: Dougray I have no idea. We’re just butchering this, he said.
Greg: Slam it down as hard as you can because they had assured him it wouldn’t. Right. Go into his eye, Arthur. So anyways, interesting.
Joe: Yeah. And my last one that I have is every time a wave crashes during the last fight scene, you take a drink, get.
Greg: Out of here.
Joe: That’s exactly. That’s exactly.
Greg: What my.
Joe: Next one is. That’s amazing.
Greg: And then my last one is any time. Tom cruise kick someone.
Joe:
Greg: Bonus points if he has somehow had the amount of time to reset up and can run towards the bad guy and launch himself into the air and kick him. There’s so many times in that last fight. Yeah, where somehow the bad guy was just standing there and Tom cruise was able to like, sprint towards him again and kick him.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Let’s get to Joe’s trope lightning round there.
Joe: Now, a lot of tropes in this one. Like our best at something reluctant hero revenge as the driver out of retirement. I kind of have it as an odd couple unlikely partnership with him and and Tandy Newton ish. You know, but it is. And then we have one last job, the person of color who dies early in the film.
Joe: Charismatic antagonist or bad guy or bad girl? We do not have that. I did not think Dougray Scott was a very good bad guy. No. So we didn’t really have a lot of our tropes, our classic action movie tropes in this, although there are a lot of John Woo tropes in. That’s because it’s a genre film, for sure.
Joe: Yeah, yeah. So those are our tropes.
Greg: Because this movie took so long to film. Dougray Scott was not released from this film. To go on to the next movie he was supposed to be in, which was X-Men, where he had been cast as Wolverine.
Joe: Wow.
Greg: So he was pretty upset about that. And the X-Men scrambled and got Hugh Jackman as Wolverine instead.
Joe: That’s like what might have been for his career.
Greg: Maybe he would have been a great Wolverine. Maybe he wouldn’t have been. And Hugh Jackman was really the secret sauce there. But that’s an interesting missed opportunity for him.
Joe: It’s hard to think of X-Men without. I mean, he has really carries those movies 100%. Wow, that’s pretty crazy.
Greg: Should we get to important questions?
Joe: Yeah, let’s do it.
Greg: All right. Joe, did this movie hold up then?
Joe: Yes, it held up then. Yeah.
Greg: 100% for me. This movie came out on my birthday. I went with my family, and, I have two older sisters. And in that moment where Tom cruise gets on his forward wheel of his motorcycle and somehow spins around and shoots it goes silent at that point in the movie, and right before it went silent, my middle sister loudly said in the theater, no way.
Greg: And the whole theater laughed.
Joe: That’s
Greg: So it did not maybe hold out for my sister, but, it did hold up for us. Do they sell the good guy in this movie?
Joe: Oh, my God, that opening scene need I feel like, yes, they do that like hero shots of him climbing.
Greg: Okay? They they sell the good guy visually, but no one actually says Ethan Hunt is the greatest of all time.
Joe: No.
Greg: Okay. Yeah. So it’s a very classy selling of the good guy.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Do they sell the bad guy.
Joe: Not really. I mean they try to but yeah it’s kind of like
Greg: Does it hold up now.
Joe: No. No not as much as it should. It’s still there are pieces of it that I love dearly. Yeah. Some for nostalgia reasons and some because there are some. But, it doesn’t hold up.
Greg: Unfortunately, some very well-made pieces of visceral action in this movie that withstand the test of time. Yeah, and very little else.
Joe: Yes. Agreed.
Greg: Okay. Does Mission Impossible two deserve a sequel?
Joe: Yes, I clearly it does. It’s got working on six sequels to that one alone. Yeah, yeah.
Greg: Okay. What ultimately does John Woo’s Mission Impossible to deserve? John Woo’s Mission Impossible three? I think that’s what we’re asking here. Right?
Joe: Okay. If they let John Woo have the final edit. Yes. I mean.
Greg: Let John Woo be John Woo.
Joe: Yeah. Let’s have a rated R mission impossible three. Yeah yeah.
Greg: Does it deserve a prequel.
Joe: No. And that that does not deserve a free no no.
Greg: Joe, why is there romance in this movie?
Joe: It’s really just to have Ethan Hunt B show that he’s better than the bad guy. God, that romance in this movie is rough, so I. I struggled with that. No, it’s just like, oh, all right, they’re falling in love in their cars and they’re chase whatever. Yeah. What about you, dude? How did you feel about the relationship of the in this movie?
Greg: I liked the heart of it. I like the cheesy ending.
Joe: You know where of the James Bond ending for sure, too.
Greg: It was. And John Woo said, I think in the commentary, it’s the first movie he’s made with a happy ending, which is a little bit weird because at the end of Face Off.
Joe: It’s a happy ending. I’m happy ish ending. Happy ish.
Greg: I mean, they’ve adopted a kid out of nowhere, right?
Joe: Yeah, I’m talking about a face off as a great happy ending.
Greg: Yeah, Face off has a pretty happy ending, I think, with.
Joe: Yeah,
Greg: John Travolta getting home, so I don’t. I think he just, was drinking a lot then. And then I remember he was playing his, drinking games.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Are we bad people for loving this movie?
Joe:
Greg: Probably to more than probably. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Okay. This. I’m so curious to hear what you say about this. What album is this movie?
Joe: So this one, I’m curious how you how this lands for you. So this is like the kind of album I have. This is kind of a soft sophomore slump album. You know, it’s like after a really good first album. Yeah. So I have. And I’m really curious to see how this lands. This is U2 October.
Joe: Wow. How do you how does that sound for you? I know you love YouTube more than more than anybody else on the planet. Besides, you know, the band.
Greg: I think that’s a great call because there are some really great moments of October. And then there are other moments where, you kind of wondering what’s going on here. Bono, the singer famously lost his lyrics in Portland right before.
Joe: They recorded that.
Greg: And they wrote it quickly right before they went in the studio. So that was like just actually raw. U2, who they were at the time, they’ve been touring boy, the album before. Some of that album sounds incredibly dated and some of it I still really, really love, so I love it.
Joe: That’s perfect. What what what album is this for you?
Greg: I promise I will only do this once, and by that I mean I probably can’t promise that I will only do this once. Yeah, but I think the album of this movie is the soundtrack to this movie.
Joe: Fair. I think that’s fair.
Greg: With the ultimate example of that being the Limp Bizkit.
Joe: Song,
Greg: Where it was just like perfect in that moment and immediately started decreasing in its cultural relevance and, watchability or listening ability.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: Tom cruise was worried that he was not going to be relevant to like, teenage boys when this movie came out. So they he wanted to figure out how to reach them. And so they decided a rock record would do that. But also this this movie is the first movie where Metallica made a song for the movie for $1 million crazy.
Greg: And Metallica. Metallica song is in the closing credits, and it’s not amazing. But that song is actually the song that leaked to Napster early and created the whole Metallica bringing down Napster thing.
Joe: Interesting.
Greg: So that song was the reason that happened. They had already been paid $1 million. What was.
Joe: The problem? They look so bad on that. They were like, technically, right, but they like they did look terrible about that. Yep, yep.
Greg: So, okay, so, the soundtrack to this movie is the is the album and I don’t know if it’ll, it’ll ever match as well as Limp Bizkit. So I took it.
Joe:
Greg: How could this movie be fixed aka who should be in the remake?
Joe: I have a couple things. Better use of Tandy Newton’s character. Got to put another act like as an action movie you got to have like an opening action scene. Even if you have a really long lull you got to grab like they kind of deal with the car chase with them. But a proper action scene and this is my biggest like I keep the cast just as it is, but we need a different bad guy.
Joe: And I want Antonio Banderas as the bad guy. Oh, nice of his, like, assassins character, basically. And I think, yeah, totally different movie with him. Maybe punch up the bad guy a little bit more like the bad guy would just like me. I think Antonio Banderas would ride the line of, like, captivating and violent at the same time.
Joe: Or this was just like, what are you doing with this character?
Greg: So yeah, assassins a movie will totally get to, obviously.
Joe: Oh, yeah. How would you fix this movie?
Greg: I would fix this movie just by changing the cast. I think the cast needs to change a little bit. And that being said, I mean, keep the cast you have and shift around the roles.
Joe:
Greg: So Anthony Hopkins is now Ethan Hunt. Tandy Newton is his boss okay. Tom cruise is the bad guy.
Joe: All right.
Greg: I mean and Dougray Scott is the love interest dressed as Wolverine.
Joe: Then I’m greenlighting that every single time that comes out.
Greg: Okay. And you know who we call. We call John Woo.
Joe: Yeah. Perfect.
Greg: I think John Woo learned some things. And if he didn’t learn some things, I’m still excited to see what he has not learned.
Joe: Yeah.
Greg: All right. It’s time for us to rate this movie. Our show is called Great Bad Movies. But often times we watch movies that are just good bad movies or, okay, bad movies or bad, bad movies, or in the worst case scenario, awful bad movies. What would you rate this movie.
Joe: You know, at? This is actually, I feel like I’m letting nostalgia drive the decision, but this is a good, bad movie. Almost a great bad movie. Okay, like I could be talked into it even like every time we have the podcast and even if I grade down and then we have the conversation, I want to bump it up.
Joe: So it’s like it’s a good to grade bad movie, but it’s it’s not quite there. There are a few missing pieces, but I love this movie. So, that’s where I rated it. What about you?
Greg: You know, if you were right, I would agree with you.
Joe: All right.
Greg: Fair, because this is a great this is a great bad movie.
Joe: Okay.
Greg: It is a little bit worse than the usual great bad movie, but the last hour is so, so solid, that I give it a pass.
Joe: Okay? I can’t fault your logic at all. I’m at the last hour is spectacular. So it’s.
Greg: I mean, it’s exactly like that last hour of avatar two, right?
Joe: Yeah. I’m a great a great I move a great bad movie I’ll never see. Thank you.
Greg: All right, so we made it.
Joe: We did it. We had the conversation that needed to happen about Mission Impossible to feel like we nailed it.
Greg: Listen, this is. Oh, this has been great, but, I’ve only got 20 hours to get some Bellerophon, so, I should probably go find some.
Joe: That’s that’s all right. That’s fine, I have to. I have to go, drive in slow motion while my hair flutters across my face. So I know it makes sense.
Greg: I, I don’t want to, like, cut this off early, but I have been doing this whole podcast, facedown in a bathtub right on top of somebody, while I’m about to steal something. So I need to get going. Says to my. My arms are starting. Get a little tired.
Joe: Yeah, that makes sense. I anyway, I have to get going. I have to go to my motorcycle jousting club. So that’s how it goes.
Greg: Well, listen, this has been great, but it actually hasn’t been. Greg, as your co-host of this podcast, it rips my face off. But it turns out it was John Travolta and Nicolas Cage. The whole time.
Joe: So that’s all right. I have to go. Anyway, I’m going to go stumble across some rocks until a helicopter rescues me. So. Hey.
Greg: Oh, I’m glad you said that, because, I need to get these, Spanish dancing shoes on and get my red dress on because I need to go, film a sequel to Mission Impossible two.
Joe: I’m going to go walk away in slo mo while some doves fly away from me, so.
Greg: Okay, I’m glad that this works out for you then, because I need to go change the bandage on my finger that was chopped off with a cigar chopper.
Joe: Yeah, that’s all right. That’s okay. I’m going to go set off some alarms to catch a thief, then force them to go back with their ex to get information that I end up not needing. Meanwhile, she will fall in love with me and demonstrate that by injecting herself with a deadly virus for some reason.
Greg: So that is so coincidental because I also need to go and basically GameStop a certain stock that has to do with a virus and an antidote.
Joe: Yeah. All right. See you soon.
Greg: See you soon.